I’m back from now on. Good Night.
Here you go. twelve-two-two-o-o-eleven
She said: “I want to make and wear a shirt that says: I like the way you snore.”
I said: “I want to make and a wear a shirt that says: I like the way you steal every part of the bed and sheets.”
I really like how she steals every part of the bed and sheets, and she really likes the way I snore. Isn’t it amazing how you can love someone for the things that don’t look like you love’m.
© Steven Wittevrouw for Stagedive.be
Summer is awesome.
Enjoy.
girls are magic. they can get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
I’ll be honest. I’ve never been more scared in the last couple of weeks. I should be happy, I should smile, laugh and tell everything to everyone. But I’m scared.
Do you know that feeling when you know you have it all? Right after going through the hardest time you ever had, you finally have it all. You feel like you’re looking down on it all, the past. You’ve reached the top. That’s where you are: hello sunshine on your face, you feel warm… I’ve been living the last year to forget, and I finally live to remember again.
But that’s the exact moment cold, dark fear strikes you. ‘I’m going to loose it all, I’m going to loose it all in the wink of an eye. I’m not worth any second of this. Don’t even imagine this is happening.’ And it takes your breath, it makes you more scared then you ever were before. ‘Look back, you don’t deserve this, this is not what you will get for what happened before.’ You see it, you feel it, you know it somewhere deep inside. ‘I’m losing all of this and it’s all my own fault. Again.’
At the exact same time you feel that hatred again. And again. And again. And again. Fear strikes in multiple forms, it’s cold, dark, heavy. And that’s when you hope and you pray that there’s a light that never goes out. ‘cause When it goes out, this is where I’ll stay. Cold, dark, heavy.
Sometimes you like to scream things from the top of your lungs. You know that feeling, when you’re standing on top of a mountain, watch down on the world, arms stretched and a heart so heavy ‘cause you loaded it with dreams and hopes, counterweighted by fear? It’s been like that for the last few days. There’s a light that never goes out. That one is stuck in my head, and was it really Christmas 2009? I wonder.
For the past year, I’ve been sending out messages, broadcasts every day, silent little hints and tips and anything that could’ve grasped that heart. I’ve been reading this blog again, watching back to dates that stretch far beyond last month. It’s strange to notice how you can dig the deepest of ditches, covering yourself in dirt and mud while doing it. I did it, it’s like Spencer Chamberlain once wrote: ‘Anyone can dig a hole, but it takes a real man to call it home.’ And while digging, I forgot what Morrissey once wrote with the boys in the Smiths: ‘There’s a light that never goes out.’
I promise. I won’t let this light go out this time. I’ve been an awful person, let’s make things better from now on. Second chances are for the best, not the worst.
There’s always a second chance in life. Remember. I’m blessed to live life with a second chance. And I’ll do anything to keep it alive and breathing. Here’s a toast to the future, kids! Let’s keep this world turning. ‘cause From where I’m standing at the moment, there’s a light at the edge of this dark world…
You gotta spend some time, Love. You gotta spend some time with me. And I know that you’ll find, love. I will possess your heart.
